Josh Apel: My Life in War

Joshua Apel was a Moberly boy. He was born here in 1977. People knew his family. Jack Forsyth, Josh’s grandfather, is a familiar name to many in this area. But he left all that was familiar to him at age 22 and joined the Army. The boy is gone forever for a man has taken his place. A man who has seen the ravages of war and been changed by it.

Josh Apel spent a tour in Iraq but it was when he was redeployed that he decided to keep a journal and document life in Iraq as only he knew it. From this journal has come a book “My Life in War — Did We Ever Really Leave?

Josh did basic training at Fort Benning, Georgia “Home of the Infantry” and was first stationed on Fort Lewis, Washington. Here is where he found the Strykers that would become such a large part of his life.

The Strykers were new to the Army. But by the time he made it back to Iraq for a second time, Josh was a vehicle commander aboard one.

“They were designed as troop carriers but also had a lot of advanced technology and larger weapons systems,” said Josh. “We were the first unit to use these new vehicles in combat in 2003-2004 and we were very successful.”

Combat is often envisioned as we have seen in World War II movies – open fields, tanks facing down tanks, soldiers in foxholes. But in Iraq, things are different. Josh explains in the book that they do not go out looking for enemy to fight each day. U.S. troops are there to protect the Iraqis and to help them restore some semblance of peace and order. But in his second deployment, Josh tells of hours spent trying to detect IED’s (improvised explosive device) and often sitting in dangerous areas waiting for EOD (explosives ordnance disposal) to come take care of it. They were not to engage the “enemy” and could only fire if fired upon and with permission. One of Josh’s KIA’s (killed in action) was an Iraqi who had waited for troops to roll over a hidden IED then detonated it from the side of the road.

Day 100 of his second deployment was October 7, 2006. Josh and his “brothers” were investigating some suspicious Iraqi police when they passed a cardboard box.

“We didn’t have much time to react … and as soon as we passed it I felt a large blast of air and smoke hit the left-front side of the vehicle and I was knocked out. … I quickly began to check myself for wounds and that’s when I realized that I could not hear out of my left ear and my shoulder was badly damaged.”

He was back on patrol the next day. But it was the start of near-constant physical pain. And nightmares.

His mother Sheryl tells of him coming home on leave near Christmas time. He rarely left the house. He worried about his buddies in Iraq. A trip to town to Christmas shop was nearly unbearable for him as he watched every passing building for someone who might want to kill him, a survival skill he could not leave behind in Iraq.

“I am no war machine by any means,” Josh says in the book. “and if you saw me on the streets you would probably think, This guy was in a war? But for some reason I was starting to feel comfortable here . . . when I returned to the States only to find myself wishing I had never come back. I wanted to stay where I was and keep fighting every day and in the middle of a blown up city street I could look around me and see a home away from home.”

This is a hard concept for a civilian sitting in a nice house with all the amenities to understand. Looking back Josh now says they were so used to the combat life that is was a huge culture shock going home.

“Soldiers re-enlist these days for many reasons, but Infantry soldiers typically re-enlist because fighting the enemy is all we know and all we’re good at.”

The futility of the mission made life harder, also. Were they putting their lives on the line for nothing? Josh tells of Iraqis pulling people from their homes and executing them because they are of the “wrong” religious background. He says in the book, “I don’t know what good we can possibly do for these people when they would rather live this way. It’s been like this for too long and I really believe, as sad as it is to admit, that the murdering will continue on both sides of the fence here.”

Upon leaving Iraq, Josh was sent to Fort Benning, GA to teach other soldiers how to survive combat in the Stryker. He is now a drill sergeant in Fort Jackson, SC. From that deployment alone he received the Purple Heart, Army Commendation Medal for Valor, Army Achievement Medal and other awards. He was in over 100 engagements over a 15 month time period and accredited with the most confirmed enemy KIAs out of all the vehicle commanders in the unit.

A good thing came from serving in Iraq. A buddy set him up on a date with a girl he knew back home and the two communicated by phone and email while he was overseas. She, Mindy, is now his wife and they have a 10-month-old daughter Hannah. Josh gives Mindy much credit for helping him through the transition of coming home – for helping him “recover from my wounds and memories.”

People have compared the war in Iraq to that of Vietnam.

“The only thing I can compare Iraq to Vietnam was that there were young men dying every day supporting their President and Country,” said Josh.

Josh says there have been many changes in Iraq since he left.

“The unit I was deployed with has already been back for their third and final tour in Iraq and going from combat on a daily basis to NO combat at all was a big change. They painted schools and houses and help start rebuilding the country. So I would say what we were doing over there has made a HUGE difference.”

The Moberly Public Library has copies of Josh’s book, “My Life in War”. The official website is www.mylifeinwar.webs.com.