From the Edge

By Daryl Perkins, Guest Columnist

So, I was talking to my friend Roy the other day and it got me thinking. I had stopped in at the Moberly Mirror to pick up my newspaper and Roy asked me to deliver a paper to a customer out my way. “We can kill two birds with one stone,” he concluded. All the way home I pondered this. Where did this old saying come from? Has anyone really ever been able to kill two birds with one stone? Have I ever met anyone who killed even one bird with one stone? Would I want to be friends with someone who kills birds?
As I drove along the streets of Moberly I pondered on other familiar sayings. “Keep your fingers crossed.” Now there’s a good one. We all at some time or another have literally crossed our fingers (and sometimes our toes) when we wanted something good to happen. For instance, my husband bought a Powerball ticket and I kept my fingers crossed for a whole week. I will be the first to tell you not only does it not work it keeps you from getting much done and causes cramps. Then there is the other use of crossed fingers. Everyone knows that if you tell a lie but you have your fingers crossed behind your back, the lie doesn’t count. So..the question is, how do you know whether someone is lying or just wants some good luck. Good luck trying to figure that out.
How about “Save your money for a rainy day.” Why, here in Missouri where it seems to rain every day, a person would be spending a lot of their money. Can you imagine living in Seattle? Not even one penny saved there. Speaking of pennies, have you heard the old saying “a penny saved is a penny earned?” How does that work? The way I see it is a penny saved is just a penny saved. One interesting note: Did you know if you saved one penny every day for a year you would have $3.65. This is good news for all you smokers out there.you could buy one extra pack of “coffin nails” or “cancer sticks” each year.
“Put your money where your mouth is.” “Pay though the nose.” “Pass the buck.” Make up your mind.do you keep the money in the mouth, in the nose or pass it on? And what if you were to “cut off your nose to spite your face?” Then how would you “pay through the nose?” Things to think about.
Okay, I never got this one: “A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.” Says who? Have you ever tried to catch a bird in a bush? Besides, “birds of a feather flock together”, so chances are there would be more than two birds in a bush and they usually see you coming and all take off at once. Good luck there. Maybe if you “let the cat out of the bag,” he can catch the bird.
“If the shoe fits, wear it,” . and hope there is another shoe that matches. But what if you have “two left feet?”
“A stitch in time saves nine.” Well, if you all read my last column you know I am on the lazy side. I say if it needs stitching, throw it out and buy a new one. (That reminds me..when my kids were little I had a mending basket. I took so long to get around to mending that they usually had outgrown the clothes. It did save a lot of time.)
So I’m driving along and make a left turn and then another one. They say ” two wrongs don’t make a right” but two lefts make you head back to where you came from. Oops, I need to pay more attention when I’m driving or else I will be “out in left field.”
Okay, so I finally get to the house where I am to deliver the paper and they have a dog. Thank goodness he’s asleep, so I could “let sleeping dogs lie.” (Lie? Oops, I forgot to see if he had his fingers crossed.) Anyway, I got out of there in “two shakes of a lamb’s tail,” and I “hit the road.” I needed to get home so I could “hit the hay.” Why was I so tired? Because I had “gotten up on the wrong side of the bed” that morning. I seriously needed “forty winks”, but “as luck would have it,” the phone rang. It was Roy. He said he was thinking of some new ways to set up my column. After all, said Roy, “there’s more than one way to skin a cat.”

Is there Roy? Is there?
Until next time…